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And he got no response in return. Yes, I hurt for a very long time, and the first year I secretly prayed for that knock at the door or the ring of the phone.

It never came and I never went back. Wow, me too. Another amazing and dead on post. BUT everything you say seems to be exactly what I need to hear, learn, consider, admit, etc.

I am no stranger to self help, therapy and consider myself very self aware, hard on self and other things. I do or feel or have familiarity with so many things in the post…and every other post you have.

I have been with many unavialable men, and have myself in the past, been that unavailable girl. Anyway, I wanted to thank you for what you do, say and how much help you have given to so many through your great posts.

I am not kidding when I say I get more out of your posts than any therapy or book I have read. God bless you for being real, straight up and right on.

You are a gift to us all. Everything you said has merit. It was pathetic how many excuses I made for him, because deep down, and on the surface, he was a great, loving guy, just not healthy for me, and not healthy enough to be in a relationship.

I was equally responsible for keeping him where he did not want to be. He wanted out, aand I thought we could make it work many times.

I know he loved me, and it hurts, but it gets better all the time. Your insight is so helpful during these times.

Do they actually connect the dots between their behavior and the response that they get? Is it intentional, or is it a learnt behavior patter which, in order for them to recognize it, requires a good deal of introspective and self-analysis?

Excellent article. I think these men know exactly what they are doing. At least the ones with a lot of practice do.

My friend hit the nail on the head and I will always remember that comment. It helped me go NC. His behaviour became very painfully predictable — I knew him so well.

Yes, definitely. Did he understand his own behaviour, what was causing it or what to do about it? No, not at all. Did he care to do anything about it?

Nope, not at all. He left shortly afterwards with the sound of someone a child holding back tears. That was the end.

I believe he acted on his feelings — on instinct. Pure and simple. The authors describe my ex and his behaviour and my own!

Those EUMs who care not to hurt women will leave us alone! He said he was not hurting me intentionally. End of conversation. He just looked peevish. As examples, Carter and Sokol suggest this: — They are totally ambivalent and are acting out their ambivalence.

Nat has said similar too. But we can certainly make ourselves braver. Yes Grace. What concerns me most is not what it says about him but what it says about me.

I suspect I am a bit of a hopeless case. Fearless Wow, the more you explain your story, the more apparent it is you have been through sooo much, all while raising a daughter.

Sorry to barge into your convo with Grace, but can I ask a question? Your comment surprised me, but I suppose I only know what I have read about you for a few weeks.

Hugs to you as you continue your journey. They are fence sitters. They are literally fearful of making a decision either way, so they just eff people about instead, running hot and cold to manage their options.

But I am more of the passive kind of EU person, which makes me vulnerable to the active kind the EU male. So I go on; and I think I am fearful of thinking too much about my part in it — it shocks me deeply.

I just try to be glad I found my way out before I died in that rabbit hole the way out came in the form of Natalie Lue; to her I will always be grateful.

Thanks for your kind words Learner — appreciate! Blowing hot and cold works for them. As soon as the person feels they are getting too close or that the other person is getting too close, they retreat.

The more effort you put in the more they realise they can do whatever they want and you will still be there.

Meantime, the other person feels left out in the cold. My parents are nutters. I live on the moon. My past is too complicated.

It can be uncomfortable. And downright scary. I appreciate too your comment that I merely played it out with one man rather than with many. I am quite pleased that I have made some progress.

I had lunch with four guys. Another guy was someone who I would have immediately been attracted to in the past aloof and stand offish the very challenge I like.

It transpired in later conversation he had a girlfriend who guess what lived overseas… I laughed to myself. The fourth guy is a friend of mine who invited me to lunch in first place.

Grace you give me hope that we can keep progressing along getting better. Fearless I relate so much to what you say and it is hard to stop and think wow I let him treat me in such and such a way where was my head?

You are further ahead than me. Well done; sounds like you know what you want. I run hot and cold with the idea. I questioned myself further: Enough of the ambivalence — no more excuses.

Decide, Fearless, on balance, would you like to be in a relationship or not? Answer: Yes, of course, I would.

Quick rethink on answer one: IF it was a good relationship. I associate it with abandonment anxiety BR as helped me to understand that — I never knew that before.

I had a good relationship with my first boyfriend at 16 years old until I was about 22, but we were young and both moved on eventually.

My second boyfriend was great for a while, but that went tits up after two years. I ended up very hurt and it took me too long to get over it.

Since then I have only ever found relationships difficult, hurtful and very very disappointing I own my part in that — in my choices.

I got the relationships I asked for. Answer: Yes. I am willing to put myself out there. I seriously need to dump my hot and cold approach to myself and my future.

I am at least seeing my running hot and cold with myself and my needs and desires as a really serious issue that has to be dealt with.

So, progress? Or am I still kidding myself? Why not just be open to some new experiences, hobbies, places to hang out and see what and who is out there?

Thanks for that and the rest. Thank you so much for your encouragement. Mingling with some new folks is just mingling with some new folks. Even a date would be, well, just a date!

It took me running hot and cold before I could answer your last two questions affirmatively and then to trust my judgment even though I wobble a bit.

I am committed to treating him decently, not letting the fantasizing or anxiety get the better of me, to keeping my word and to the fact that one day I may very well have to live a life of compromise over when I eat, what I eat, when I go to bed,what I do with my time.

But I consider the sacrifice of freedom to be worth it. I am still learning what it is to love and be loved. The man has been a huge help to me.

Reassuring, understanding, optimistic. A good man really can lighten the load and not just be a burden on you! Grace, Thanks. That is as far as I have progressed, but it is a start.

I can state in all certainity that I have not had a single healthy relationship when I was younger I was quite the ass clown with hot and cold behaviour disappearing etc.

Then I switched and put with all kinds of shady behaviour. When I thought about a healthy relationship I would literally feel fear. Even now it has lessened but dig deep enough and many fears are still there.

You have made progress Fearless for one you are no longer in contact with your ex eum and have not been for a long time.

I think it takes time to assess and sort through everything that happened in that relationship and you written many conclusions of what you will no longer put up with in a relationship and you are willing to learn.

There are people out there who do no self examination and die in unhappy relationships thinking that is the best they can do I think of the woman I used to live next door to 19 years she had endured of him physically abusing her and she was still hanging on in there waiting for him to change sad.

So no you are not kidding yourself, Fearless, you have made progress and are still on the journey which can take you to where you want to go even if that is where you are a peace with yourself and happy single or within a relationship.

Another awesome article Nat… I so wish I had found this site yrs ago. They were years wasted on a EUM.. Although, at the time I didnt know what a EUM was..

I knew there was something amiss but it was hard to figure it out, and I thought it was something about me… ughhh.. WE were both coming off long marriages , kids, hitting middle age… I was happy for the most part because I had just come out of a yukky marriage and this man was total opposite of my ex-husband.

Successful, handsome, attentive, caring, exciting, romantic and I got sucked into a fantasy relationship and jumped right up on that emotional rollercoaster ride and all that goes along with it..

Then after 9yrs together I was replaced, unbeknownst to be he had been out shopping for my replacement.

For the most part I am glad its over, I am off that ride, and I have had time to heal. Been NC for most of time since I caught him.

Theres nothing to talk about, nothing to say. Its all about his needs, his wants, him, him , him…. YUK… I know I deserve better, always did.

Its been almost a year. I am so much better and see everything so clearly now. I know I exhibited some EU behavior too or it would have never lasted as long as it did.

I am working on that. I thank you all for sharing your stories,. Nat I SO needed this post today!! My mistake is that I listen to my silly girlfriend, who said I was overreacting and did not know when a guy was really interested in me my ex was aggressively pursuing me in the beginning.

Instead, I should have followed the advice in your blog. I realized that I should have followed my first mind and not got involved with the ex in the first place.

There were some good things that did come out of the relationship though: When he was blowing hot, he took care of me when I was sick and fixed up my house.

For your next blog can you write about how to attract an emotionally available man like the one you found? Natalie, You are have a detective mind.

I found this so helpful. Question: when it comes to having your expectations managed down, how do you know the difference between that and giving someone reasonable space to be busy indeed in another part of his life?

I have a married work friend of whom I am very fond indeed. Nothing has happened. But my emotions have become entangled.

I get to a balanced place and think I have been imagining the push pull stuff ie I have a great work friend who happens to be attractive and I have made too much of things in the past, it was all in my head….

However, his behaviour also triggers this…Recently I was given a lot of support by this work colleague in a challenging aspect of my job.

No response. The next day he was in touch with another colleague about an event which also involved me..

I sent various emails and left a message with him about it. No contact since then. Now, he is super busy etc so it could also be interpreted as that.

But I do feel that he shows up and has quite an impact on me and then drops everything to go on to his next role and with it me. Or perhaps there is an element of him managing me up and down.

Ask yourself why do you so desperately need his attention. Felicity You are in danger. He is married. Maybe he has sensed that the two of you are going too far I certainly sense it and is retreating.

There are plenty of other people on the planet. If you have no regard for his wife, at least respect yourself and quit this humiliation. Stop the e-mailing!

You are putting yourself at HUGE risk and are ripe for a fantasy relationship, or affair! And go see a psychologist ASAP to sort this one out.

Hey Felicity like Titi said, you are focusing on the wrong questions. A married man should not be blowing hot or cold. Those are red flags if the feelings are directed toward a MM.

He was oh so helpful too. Those were two very miserable years and my story sounds like all the other OW stories on this blog and there are tons and other blogs as well.

Shopping, going to dinner, a picnic, sipping wine on the patio, making love to his wife? Grace is spot on. You are in danger girl and there is a barrowful of shite ahead if you chose to continue.

Good luck to you…step away from the ledge and focus on YOU. They inevitably have to disappear on a regular basis in order to live their real life with their wife.

I found that it meant a lot about my unavailability. This is an excellent post in breaking down what MOST personality disordered narcissists, psychopaths, sociopaths , do.

I appreciate your ability to break it down so well, into such simple terms. He was so good at his game and I was so naive because I had been married to a good man for many years who died, and I had never associated with anybody like this A-hole.

He was a master of blowing hot and cold. Finally, after 6 months of his shenanigans I was totally fed up and went NC. The only way he could reach me was to come to my front door and I knew he would not lower his foolish pride to do that.

I have never gone back and given him another chance. There have been times when I have actually cried and begged God to send me a good man who I could love safely and would love me without emotional abuse.

It has been very very hard, but I have not allowed myself to fall that low again. I am much stronger and much smarter now.

Loving yourself first and foremost is the only way to go. It was a very tough lesson, but one I needed to learn. Sorry you have experienced this.

I think I was naive too when I met ex EUM not to negate my own kind of emotional unavailability at that time.

This describes my experience with an EUM to a T. It feels great to finally have my strength and confidence back.

After much work and reflection, I now value myself too much to succumb to this toxic pattern ever again. Thanks for this article, hopefully it will help others avoid similar pain.

This is my life exactly! We are arguing at this moment and of course all of his distance is my fault because I expect too much! There is so much mlre to this and i wish i could express it all and get advice.

I think you know the answer. If he has not changed in this time, why would he change now? He has issues that have nothing to do with you.

Decide that you deserve more than this and end it. I have read so many things on here that have helped me become self aware, especially things like only valuing love from a reluctant source.

My problem is that though I understand how things are working, my self esteem is still so low that the temporary satisfaction always lures me in. I feel out of control.

Natalie your commentary is so accurate. I am ashamed to have married two men like this. And continued the pattern in other realtionships.

The last one gave me symptoms that were close to being Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. The other day I saw a photo of him and remembered his borish behavior and was shocked to realize that I put up with him.

I am firm in my committment to not allowing any bad behavior in the future. However, if I am going to meet a man……the only way seems to be on line dating.

The on line guys all seem to have the personality profiles of dangerous men. If they are good looking and confident……I freeze. I hear from men all over the country that think I am beautiful..

The men close to me are so elusive. They communicate and often break the dates before we meet. I am a new empty nester. For 10 years while I was a single parent to one very wonderful daughter, I kept most of the bad men out of my life and away from my daughter.

Now that I am truly avaialable, I am feeling so hopeless about finding a man who could love me. Is there hope? That pessimism is self-fulfilling.

Yes, there is hope, if I at 47 after six years of no-dating can meet someone kind and caring then so can you.

Behind each man who was turned on only by my temper or threat to leave after month 3 was an unattentive, mild to flat out abusive mother.

And they had clearly NOT gotten over it. And it was a lost lose lose situation. But the fact that they see it that way is a huge red flag regarding their own behavior.

The best thing I have ever done for myself was spend the last 2 years, among many other things, looking in the mirror and figuring out anything that reflected them-and it finally got better when I used that to figure out MYSELF.

Happy Gal Amen, right on. Great insight, I like the mental gymnastics. Everything you said has rang true. Now I seem to keep finding EUM…. I hope I am done with ever dating another EUM.

When i was younger i dated great men, andi was emotionally or in many ways time, etc unavialable. I have reached out to those men in my past that i hurt, and made amends because i know the damage and scars it can cause.

Actually i have had a few tell me how sorry they were…and it did help…but only temporarily. The issue lies within what we choose to accept for ourselves, and our self esteeem.

I liked your post a lot, thanks. What if you recognize this from the other side? My boyfriend is pretty consistent actually. The problem is that we are in a long-distance relationship now.

We knew each other before long distance and then I had to move for job. My current job academic is temporary and I need to find a permanent one which hopefully will happen next year.

He agreed to move when I get a permanent place. For now we talk, Skype, text on a daily basis and see each other once a month for days we are 6 hours apart.

But when I get home. I need to stop it before we get in too deep! Your fears, I think, are more rational than chucking yourself headlong at someone.

However, if you two have known each a while, like each other, if you get on, if you share the same values, if you both think you could have a future together, then you have to make the decision, as you do when you to go to work, to get on with the job in hand.

And commit to yourself and to your values. It is a risk. Beware the temptation to throw in the towel because you need to control the outcome.

If I finish with the man tomorrow I will know tomorrow how it turns out. If I keep seeing him, I need to have faith, make an effort, be mindful.

We have to live what we believe. Grace, thank you for your reply. Of course, I effectively end up hurting myself instead. I think I always had low self-esteem and anxiety issues.

Low self-esteem is ugly. Usually a lot of negative thoughts are going through my head. Each of those needs to be challenged, disproved, stopped in its tracks.

I also have trouble believing that somebody can love me. Why would you do such a thing?! Game over. Save yourself.

Natalie, you have hit the nail right on the head! Nuh uh! Thank you so much for all of your posts. You are helping so many people. This behavior has gone from blowing hot and cold to outright abusive treatment.

He loves to tell me he is going to call and then not call! Then…he just hangs up on me. Enough is enough. He does not sound like a caring, accountable man.

I wish you strength as you begin NC. Just wanted to add that the exMM displayed similar behaviour with me. He said I should not point out his flaws, but should focus on his strengths.

Passive aggression personified. Good luck to you! Thanks for all your responses. These situations can be very lonely and shameful.

So thanks again to you and everyone here at BR. So true. I confided the details of my epic EUM relationshit with only one good friend for a long time; she too was involved in a similar assclown hot and cold situation, so we understood each other and bemoaned our lot together for a veeerry long time.

Her assclown disappeared for good eventually when he married — clean out of nowhere — a third! It brought on real anxiety for me every time she phoned me and I care for her a great deal!

Yes, one of the very worst things about these situations is how isolating, and shameful and lonely they are. He tells me nothing; I effing hate him.

Of course, those who knew me well enough, did get it, only too well. The whole thing makes your interactions with people less authentic or natural — and they notice.

One of the great things about being NC is that you can be totally yourself again, without fear of the shame and the isolation and the loneliness. Hey Lilian, I would like to join the chorus in supporting your decision to go NC.

Silent treatment is a particularly abusive form of blowing cold. Practically, you could use this silent treatment as an opportunity to gather your strength to implement NC.

Everyday you spend in this quicksand, struggling to get him to see the light, is one more day you go under. When I expressed my disgust of being an OW, I got met with a wall of anger as to how terrible it is for him!

Yup, enough is enough. Reading all the comments on this thread so reminded me of quicksand. It can swallow you. I have a picture in my head of pizza.

For me at first its wonderful all hot and steamy but then when its cold its quite gross. Being in love with him is emotionally exhausting.

They blow hot and cold because they are keeping options open. I needed this so much! I just burst out laughing at the first few paragraphs because it describes my life down to a T right now.

I deserve better than crumbs. NML, wow, I loved it. I am glad that I started to see psychologist, I will try to change my attitude towards men, and give them up at least for six months!

I have been let down yet again. But I do not know how to change this. I do not know how to actually walk away, without folding when he contacts me with another excuse.

How do I find the courage. Scarlet, How do you find the courage? Put one foot in front of the other and just breathe. Keep this blog handy!!

Your message just jumped out at me this morning. I am on day 41 of no contact. It is SO hard. You can do this. You are worth the short term pain.

Blessings to you!!! Going NCR is extremely painful, but also extremely effective. And then CUT. Go see a psychologist asap, preferably beforehand to prepare yourself as much as possible.

And then block, it is very hard and is purgatory but if you do it, the rewards are enormous. Get pissed!! Look at every dirty, shady thing he has don, said to you, treated you.

Put it on paper — write everything down and read it everyday. Quit giving it away!! Full Stop. He is getting a kick out of seducing you. He may think he is.

You may think he is. And when a man does know you better, he shouldnt be doing those things either.

He pursued me. To me it is RED. Grace — I agree, blowing hot in the very early stages of dating is a red flag to me now. There can be no criticism of blacks or women.

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